应该是这样：我想将假期调成这样，询问一下您是否可以。
因为这个句子是非常礼貌的，并且I'd和would you你没有解释出来。
建议用reschedule
I'd like to reschedule my vacation as follow and wondering if it is ok
这样说比较好 I'd like to adjust my vacation arrangement as follow, would you please check if it is ok for you?
应该可以吧
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